Having Him Home

Posted: June 29, 2010 in Rantings

This last little while, with The Boyfriend being done work, have worked incredibly in my sexual favor. I’ve had more sex in the last two weeks than I have in probably close to 2 months. From the triple orgasm night, to shower sex, I’ve been having a great time sexually. Too bad everything else right now sucks, but enough about that…

So the shower night sex. So much fun!!! Rarely do we both go for a shower, though The Boyfriend’s more likely to take one if I’m going with him. We normally hold pretty steady to one position in the shower, just for comforts sake. Again, I have bad knees so we can’t do anything wild and crazy, especially not on slippery surfaces. Generally we stick to me bent over and him taking me from behind.

After so long like that, we decided to switch it up, and he turned me to face him. I think he wanted to hold me close, but I wanted to watch him and I wanted him to watch me and I wanted to be able to put my leg up. So I leaned back and put my leg up, and after so long he stopped trying to pull me closer to him. I watched as he came, and I thought it was so cute how bashful he looked.

Then I sat down at the back of the bathtub, while he stood underneath the shower facing away from me, his amazingly sexy butt shaking in my face as he washed his hair and I frantically rubbed my pussy. Then it became a game for him, after his hair was all rinsed. He’d wiggle his butt, and then he’d move from side to side so that the water would spray against my pussy. Of course, being a bathtub tap masturbator, I very much enjoyed it. (FYI- it’s not a situation of, if I had a hand held shower head I would use that for masturbation. I prefer the strength of the bathtub tap and the position. I can go hands free and play with my boobs or spread my pussy lips apart, and I love to grab my hips!)

It took until the water got cold before I finally came, and he just playfully squirmed about in front of me, water dripping from his balls. It was incredibly sexy and I loved watching him like that. Then we laid down to go to sleep, and we were both gushing about the great shower sex we had just had and I say (as I normally do), “Tell me something interesting…”

Well, earlier in the day we had been at Bower Ponds. I’ve been having some major issues as some of you know where image is concerned. And everyday it seems to get worse and worse. This particular day had been a horrible day. The one pair of pants that I have, that fits comfortably, still hadn’t been dried yet. All the other pants I had that were dry and clean, would fit me around my waist, if I could only get them up over my thigh/hip/ass area. I wasn’t about to wear shorts, because I have some naughty words carved into my skin (my own doing…), so I was forced, for comforts sake, to wear The Boyfriend’s shorts, the only pair of bottoms of his that fit me outside of boxers.

When it comes to shirts, that’s where I have the most problems. I finally, after years of begging and pleading for them, have breasts that I’m pretty proud of. I think they sound bigger than they look, but I think they look just fine. I’d still like them to be up higher and more centered on my chest, but us long torso girls aren’t naturally blessed with that. *shakes fist in the air* So I want to wear shirts that show off the curves of my boobs. But I don’t want anything that’s tight on my stomach at all. I don’t want you to be able to tell that I look like I’m still pregnant.

Needless to say, I was pretty uncomfortable with my overall look for the day. So of course, it’s summertime. Which means every girl is wearing practically nothing. When I see skinny girls wearing practically nothing, and I know that any guy would love to see that, I get insecure. But it’s even worse when I see these women who are larger than I currently am, and they seem to have less image issues, having no problems wearing short shorts or tank tops, and here I am in my baggy pants and covering up as much of myself as I can, I just feel downright stupid.

So then we go down to the river, and a raft of girls and guys scantily clad all pull up. Buddy hands The Boyfriend a camera and asks if he could take a picture. Girl in skanky bathing suit gets up into a sexy pose, and The Boyfriend innocently takes a picture. It seriously upset me. And I just kept getting angrier and angrier at myself. By the time we got home, I just wanted to curl up into a ball. I’ve realized with time though, that the key is confidence. Now it’s just a matter of figuring out how to become confident…

Things had been mentioned all throughout that day about me not feeling very sexy or whatever. So when I asked The Boyfriend to tell me something interesting, he said something along the lines of, “I really do think your sexy!” and I said something like “The problem is, I don’t believe you. I just don’t get why.” I wanted to go into the “I hope she’s not chunky” porn comment, and the fact that he only thinks I’m sexy because we’re in a relationship and I’m the mother of his child. If I was just some random woman walking down the street, he wouldn’t think twice of  me. Probably wouldn’t even look in my direction. And if he did, he’d make a face and decide that I definitely wasn’t his type. And I wanted him to tell me I was wrong, and go off about all the things that he really truly thinks is sexy on me, and how he wishes that I would just believe him because he truly does think it. But instead, I chickened out and I just threw up my hands and said in a defeated voice, “I don’t want to talk about it!” Of course, he thinks that’s seriously my limit, so he just stops, even though sometimes I wish he’d push harder.

I don’t feel like I can just openly talk to him about all of it. Because I don’t even completely understand it myself. Logically, I know better. This is a huge problem for me in life. I know how it all works, logically. But then my emotions get in the way and cloud all of my logical reasoning. Then there’s the whole issue of saying this all out loud to someone else. It just sounds that much more irrational out loud. At least on paper or on the web, I can make it sound kind of poetic, but out loud it just sounds retarded.

I keep telling him I want him to read my blog, but he won’t because he’s afraid I’m saying mean stuff about him. I don’t personally think that I am. And I’m wondering what post it was and on what blog it was that he started thinking that.

Then last night was another fun night. I didn’t really think anything was going to happen when we first went to bed. Almost immediately after getting comfy in bed, his hand was on top of my pants, and seconds after that my hand was wrapped around his cock. Few more seconds and my pants were off. He was already naked.

I was much wetter than I thought I had been. He played with me right up until I came. It came on fast, and I had no idea it was coming. Then wham! Quickly, he was on top of me, and after a few adjustments, he was cumming. It was quick, fun, and somehow still passionate. We spent awhile, again gushing about the great sex, and then we fell peacefully asleep.

I’m hoping in the near future, he’ll either use the flogger on me or let me use the flogger on him. A spanking would be nice too…

  1. woodynyou says:

    Great post! I especially liked when you wrote about how your shirts fit. US guys never think about things like that so it was interesting to hear.

    • I imagine there is probably some guy out there who thinks about it. I wonder if all girls think about shirts like that? For the most part, I really think they do, but maybe I’m one of a few…

      I wish more girls thought like men in a variety of areas. Why is it that men are naturally more confident than women? You hear a thousand times more about women having all sorts of insecurities, than men. Do you think it’s biological and because of something like our DNA or hormones, or do you think it’s social and because of the way we were raised and the type of media surrounding us?

  2. B says:

    It sounds like you had a wonderful time. I would like to have that sort of enjoyment occasionally.

    Definitely fun and games you got, just what you needed.

    • We had a LONG time of not having this sort of enjoyment, so it is a very wonderful time. From reading your blog, I’d love to get some of that enjoyment occasionally 😉 I love how you write about M, and I would kill to have The Boyfriend write about me like that.

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