Posts Tagged ‘24/7’

The night before last, The Boyfriend finally used the bondage tape on me. He seemed to have a much more luck with the tape then when I tried it out. He artfully wrapped my wrists together and then connected them to the bed so that my arms were together and over my head.

You’d think with all my image issues, that laying there, completely exposed and naked, would’ve made me helpless and out of control and vulnerable. Alas, it did no such thing. I still felt like I had complete control of the situation (even after he bound my feet together), I felt empowered and sexy and desirable. And while all that is great and good, I wanted to feel that weakness and vulnerability.

Ever since that night, it’s all I can think about. In day-to-day life, I have to be so in control of everything. In control of the kids, in control of the cleaning, in control of the money, so in control… Back in the day, I would’ve just been happy with that.

A friend on FetLife today, asked if I’d had any luck dominating The Boyfriend and I remembered the last time I attempted to dominate him and felt completely uncomfortable. I almost felt more vulnerable topping him. It got me thinking though about whether or not I actually desire to dominate The Boyfriend.

I’m so naturally submissive to him sexually. Even though, I’m normally a take control type of girl in the bedroom, and usually am the one initiating everything. With him, I crave his approval and am constantly thinking of pleasing him (not only sexually, but in other areas – even though I’m not very good at it), and it just seems that submission is the best course.

When I think about it, I desire to submit to him more than I desire to dominate him. I just wish I could feel less in control with him, during sexual things mostly. I wish that I had defined limitation for him to break, though currently I’ve got such an, “I’m open to anything” attitude, that it makes it very hard for him.

I think after the better majority of our life is under more control (mostly finances), I’m gonna seriously start pushing for us to create some sort of defined relationship type dealy. We’ve both shown great interest in the idea of punishments and rewards, and I think it would be a great motivator for me to accomplish some of the goals that I’ve put out for myself this year.

I’ve told him that I think it would be cool if we had set rules, like for instance, at a certain time everyday I have to do a workout (and since he’s always said he wants to be my personal trainer, he can choose the exercises), and if I don’t, I get punished with something that I wouldn’t like. Preferably something humiliating. Or that all the dishes have to be done and put away, or I’ll be forced to do something like, the dishes naked or clean the toilet with a toothbrush or stand in the corner or something.

I think I’m just mostly determined to take the only-for-foreplay thing out of the parts of our sex life that excite me the most. It’s something I really want to try 24/7, not 15 minutes once a week!

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The day before yesterday, The Boyfriend and I were sitting around bored out of our skulls with nothing better to do than doodle and write. I didn’t want to go on the computer, because I wanted to cuddle and he didn’t want to play games because he had already done that that day.

I, of course, was thinking about nothing more than sex and BDSM, which is all I ever seem to be thinking about lately. Anywho, I started thinking about my perfect scenario of 24/7 BDSM. Came to the realization that it would not be even slightly possible as long as any of my kids still lived at home.

So I thought it would be fun to share with all of you what I came up with so far. Unfortunately, this whole scenario is based off of alot of different factors, which include:

  1. Need to find a S/switch man who doesn’t mind sharing
  2. Need to get to the point where I don’t mind sharing
  3. No kids in the house (or if there are kids in the house, must understand BDSM fully)
  4. I have to have a full-time day job, where I’m leaving the house at a set time and arriving home at a set time
  5. Need an extremely large house, like a mansion or castle
  6. Need 9 submissive or S/switch people to fulfill spots 😉

Okay, okay. I know it sounds a little far-fetched, and I’m aware that realistically I’ll probably only ever get half of what I wanted, but I’m talking about perfect worlds, which we all know don’t exist!

So a few basic things before we get into the better part of this. In a perfect world, protocols and rules and consequences would be a big part of everyday BDSM play for me. I would like to believe, from my rather inexperienced perspective, that BDSM can be a very therapeutic, life-altering experience. I also like the idea of behaviour modification.

Okay so first I’ll break down how the whole thing would work. Let’s pretend that in this perfect world, The Boyfriend is Master and I am Mistress. I would be Master’s alpha slave, if you will, and he will be my Dominant. He will have a male alpha slave as well. He will also have one female submissive and two male submissive’s.

(F.Y.I. – We are working under the premise that, the slaves are collared and “owned” and the submissives are un-collared slaves-in-training)

Mistress will have an alpha male slave and alpha female slave, two female submissives and two male submissives. Master and Mistress would also own a male and female submissive together. Now, that’s not to say that either would not be allowed to discipline the others submissive in the absence of the Owner. I hope this all still making sense.

So I was thinking about this perfect world life, where I worked 9 to 5, Monday to Friday. Came home at the exact same time (or thereabouts) every single day. So I started thinking about what I’d want the ritual of coming home to be like. Of course, this sent me spiraling into thoughts about every little detail, but I thought it would be fun to share with you what coming home would look like to me, in a perfect world.

As I stumble towards the front door of my house, after my exhausting long day of work, I am excited and relieved to think about what’s on the other side.When I step up the last stair, onto the porch, the heavy door slides open, showing me the comforts of my home. I take a step in, and my alpha male is kneeling at my right, holding a martini upwards, with his other hand outstretched waiting for my bags. My alpha female is kneeling to my left, eyes down with a pair of slippers between her teeth. I lightly tap her head, and she removes each of my shoes, replacing them quickly with the slippers.

My alpha male escorts me to the lavish dining room, his arm wrapped around mine, while my alpha female crawls along behind me. Master is already seated at the large dining table, with his alpha male and female submissive kneeling on the floor beside him, to his left and right respectively. In three of the four corners of the room, stands the male and female submissive that Master and I are training together, and one of my male submissives. The males are in charge of food and wine service and clean-up and the female is the cook of the house, preparing all the food (with the help of the other submissives). Her main duty is to prepare menus and choose wine pairings.

My alpha male pulls out my seat, and waits for me to be seated before kneeling beside me. My alpha female is already kneeling next to me and awaiting further instructions. Master and I would ring a bell simultaneously (and submissive’s would be punished if they came when only when bell was rang – the bells being of completely different tones), and the remaining submissives would enter, kiss my feet and then kiss Master’s feet, and then stand behind their designated seating position, which only varied when company attended or on special ocassions, such as birthdays and anniversaries.

My alpha female would then be seated to my left, and after she was seated, the other submissives could then be seated. One of the submissives, in the corner behind my chair, would serve us the wine of the evening. Master and I would receive our wine in fine goblets, the alpha slaves would be served their wine in boring glass cups and the submissives would be given plastic champagne flutes to drink from.

Food when then be served from the submissive in the corner behind Master’s chair, from a large table behind Master. Service would start with the submissives, then the alpha slaves and then Master and finally Mistress, so that food did not go cold for Master or Mistress. Both alpha males, if you recall, are still kneeling on the floor, and are given their food on the floor. After Master and Mistress, they are then allowed to sit cross-legged on the floor to eat their food, and are permitted to use proper utensils. Again, this changes with company or special occasion.

After wine is served and all the plates have been filled, the food and wine submissives take their seats at the table at designated positions. The female submissive chef, comes to the right hand side of the Mistress, from the left hand corner of the dining room, to present that dish. She describes, in detail, the food we are about to eat, from ingredients used to cooking methods. Her duty is to make us appreciate the food before it even reaches our mouths.

After the explanation, she takes her designated seat, and all slaves and submissives watch both Master and Mistress. Master’s slaves (including me, his alpha female) and submissives will not take a single bite until he has taken at least three. Mistress’ slaves and submissives will not have a single bite until she has taken at least three.

After the first course, normally a salad, two more courses are served. The actual dinner and then a desert, and all the courses will take on almost the same pattern. Wine server serves wine, then sits at his seat. Food server serves food, then sits at his seat. Chef describes her dish and sits at her seat. Mistress waits for Master’s first three bites along with his alpha male and submissives. Mistress’ slaves and submissives wait for her third bite before beginning.

After dinner is complete, the submissives who didn’t serve food or wine or describe dishes they made, clear the table while Master and Mistress and the alpha slaves retire to wherever Master and Mistress decide, either all together or separately.

So that’s the “I just got home from a long day of work” scenario. One of these days, I’ll write about more about the happenings in a perfect world. That was just where I got to so far.

On another note entirely, I thought I should let everyone know that this week, for the first time in my life, I purchased something off the internet. And wouldn’t you know, the first time I buy anything online, it’s something kinky 😉

The Boyfriend comes home, hands me a card, and says “There’s a hundred bucks for you to play with one there.”, this being right after his birthday (and I hadn’t gotten him a real present yet, because everything he really wants is online!). So I spent almost the entire day looking around on the internet, trying to find things for his birthday and as he said, “a present for yourself”. He knew that I would go for something kinky, he was hoping a dildo, but I wanted something else.

Well, he got Mario Party 8 for the Wii, I spent less and got a red “angel hair” flogger and some black bondage tape. Each thing should be here around about the 15th. So, the first time I buy anything online is also the first time I’m ever going to see a flogger in real life!!! I’m incredibly excited.

So my question to all of you is, do you know of any really good resources online for learning more about floggers (I already know quite a bit, but I feel like I should take a refresher and should make sure to show The Boyfriend some of the stuff, before everything gets here)? And does anyone have any advice for a first flogging session?

Well I should probably get going. Thanks again to everyone reading. I haven’t had under 10 readers in a week and a half, so I’m pretty excited about that. Now, I just need to get some more comments coming in!

I’ve been working really hard today on various blog stuff, mostly getting The Art Of... up and running. I’ve decided to set up a different blog for it, since I felt like I couldn’t get the flexibility I desired out of presenting it solely as a series here on The XXX Rated Rantings. I’m hoping to have my first lesson posted by the end of this month, though the research is killing me.

I spent probably close to three hours today, going through definitions on Wikipedia and looking for more beginner type information. I figure for the first couple of lessons, I’ll take more of a beginners focus and carry it onwards from there. I don’t think that I have the authority to really write about advanced BDSM techniques and activities, when I myself am still just a mere newbie.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this either. I figured after Alfie and I broke up, that I would spend at least a year just experimenting with my sexuality. Experiencing more BDSM and kink. Especially being that I haven’t really gotten to experience BDSM anywhere near the degree that I’d like to be experiencing it at. But then I met The Boyfriend, and he’s not kinky really at all, but he’s too amazing for me to just pass up. Plus, he’s always shown a hidden interest in the more kinky.

Before I got pregnant, and up until about my 5th or 6th month, we had gotten into spanking quite a bit. Had a couple really intense sessions. My favourite one, which we even have pictures from, I got all dressed up and put on some make up (which doesn’t happen nearly as often as I wish it did). The Boyfriend had me lean over the ottoman in the living room, and it was just such an amazing experience.

I had been asking him for months to use a hairbrush as a spanking tool. I wanted to feel the harsh, thuddy impact and then feel the bristles of the brush dragged along the redness. The Boyfriend made it even better by grabbing an ice cube and melting all over the spots he had spanked and then dragging the bristles across my skin. I had such a hard time staying still.

Since I had my last, we’ve only had one sex session which involved spanking, and it was so mild, you could technically call it love taps or sex taps. Not a real spanking. I’ve been craving one so bad too. I’d love for him to spank me and call me a dirty whore, but he says he won’t ever call me something that’s “disrespectful”. I just laugh hysterically every time he says it.

The thing that sucks most about doing all this research about BDSM, is I really realize what I’m missing out on. I’m so jealous of the people that get to live in this lifestyle 24/7 or even just casually on weekends. I want to be one of those people. I’m determined that one day I will be. Though I can’t even know that for sure, maybe in reality, I’m not actually into BDSM. Just into the idea of it.

One thing that I’ve always been interested in receiving as a submissive is sort of behaviour modification, if you will. I would like rules about the way I am to conduct my day and myself. I would like a punishment if I sleep in past a certain time, or don’t have breakfast made by a certain time. I would like workouts and healthy eating to be part of my rules. I would like to have someone to be accountable to, other than myself. I think it would be very powerful, and I think my life would change dramatically.

Today, I did a 20 minute workout on my Wii Your Shape game. The whole time, I kept thinking, I would be much more motivated to do this workout if I knew that if I didn’t, I would have consequences. Such as, The Boyfriend teases me all day and then denies me orgasm because I didn’t complete my workout, or didn’t give 100% or whatever the stipulations that we agree upon are.

I think, once I’ve got breast feeding a little more under control, and have some sort of pumping schedule, I’m gonna start going to munches again. The last time The Boyfriend and I went, it truly sparked his interest. That night, all I heard about was how much he thought the idea of tying me up was arousing. It helped that everyone at the munch was so excepting and eager to teach the “vanilla” boyfriend. I think that really made him feel comfortable and more willing to learn than I could’ve ever made him.

And trust me, I had tried alot prior to the munch. I would leave websites for him to look at, I would search for interesting pictures and show them to him, I would try to read erotica to him. He never really showed interest until that first munch. After that, I would literally say “I want a spanking” and I would get one. Now, it’s hard to just get vanilla sex, which is a little disappointing.

I wish I could learn everything I wanted to know, in one spot, without having to spend hours and hours searching to find it. I mean, there’s just so much about sex and sexuality and BDSM and fetishes that I want to know more about. I suppose a really smart person would probably tell me that I won’t learn half of the things that I really want to know, until I myself experience it. It’s much like having sex. People can tell you a thousand times about their experiences with sex, and the medical parts of sex. Yet, it’s never what you expect it to be.

Well I think that’s all I have to write today. Maybe again tomorrow? We’ll see!