Posts Tagged ‘Anus’

WTMFI Wednesdays Button

“That’s Tight”

CherriesThis Week’s Questions

  1. What are your thoughts on anal sex? Have you ever had it?
  2. Do you enjoy watching porn with anal sex?
  3. If you’ve had anal sex, what was your first time like? If you haven’t had anal sex and want to, what do you hope for your anal sex experience?
  4. Do you own any sex toys for anal penetration? If not, do you want to?
  5. Do you always use condoms or do you sometimes allow bareback?

What are your thoughts on society’s negative views of anal sex?


  • Each week, for Wednesday, you post answers to the five questions that are posted. You may answer all, or only one or two of the questions. You can post in whichever format works for you, be it video, poetry, answers, pictures or audio.
  • Insert the WTMFI Wednesdays image at the top of this post (get instructions here) into your post, linking back to The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – XXX Rated Edition at
  • Leave a link to your post with the answered questions in the comments section of Wednesday’s WTMFI post. There is a special page for all the links that are submitted, so be sure to submit your links.
  • Have Fun!!!!
  • CherriesThis Week’s Answers

    Question 1:
    What are your thoughts on anal sex? Have you ever had it?

    I have had anal sex (Thank you Boyfriend!), and still have varying thoughts on it. Some days, I’m all for it and think it’s sexy, other days I think it’s risky and dangerous and not something I want to participate in. But like I’ve said here before, I have no problems when it comes to finger penetration. It’s just the penis to anus penetration.

    Question 2:
    Do you enjoy watching porn with anal sex?

    When I was younger than I am now, and first started watching porn, the anal scenes would disgust me. I still cringe when they pull someone’s ass cheeks apart and you just see this huge gaping hole. But I’ve come to accept that it’s going to be there.

    The only time I enjoy watching porn with anal sex in it, is when it’s double penetration. I don’t know what it is about watching double penetration, but it turns me on so much and gets me off so fast!

    Question 3:
    If you’ve had anal sex, what was your first time like? If you haven’t had anal sex and want to, what do you hope for your anal sex experience?

    I had attempted to have anal sex many many times before actually successfully having anal sex. And with every boyfriend I had had sex with, we tried anal sex, and every time it would start to hurt too much and I’d tell them to stop.

    A couple months after The Boyfriend and I were together, we gave it a try. I was really nervous and he knew it, and in this calm and smooth voice, he gently talked me through it and was very responsive to my body. At any point that I’d even just flinch, he’d go very easy and tell me I was doing great or that I was such a good girl. He was behind me and we were on our sides, and he’d reach up and stroke my back or my hair, and he was just very gentle and very sweet and I became incredibly relaxed. Moments later he was pulling out cumming, and if I remember correctly so was I.

    It was amazing and it felt so intimate, instead of kind of dirty like before. We’ve only probably done it once or twice since then, but that first time was incredible.

    Question 4:
    Do you own any sex toys for anal penetration? If not, do you want to?

    No I don’t own any, yes I want to. I’ve always wanted to don a strap-on. And I’ve always wanted to use anal beads on someone else. For use on me, only because I know The Boyfriend wants it, we need to get a dildo so he can be fucking me while using the dildo on my ass. I’d like to get The Boyfriend a cute little butt plug, though I don’t know how into that idea he is. But I’d like to get my vaginal and clitoral toys and some BDSM gear out of the way before making anal purchases.

    Question 5:
    Do you always use condoms or do you sometimes allow bareback?

    I’d like to say that I always used condoms, but it’s just not true. I almost always allow bareback. I’m not worried about getting any STD’s from The Boyfriend, so condoms almost never cross my mind. Lube is an absolute must though, lots of it!!!

    What are your thoughts on society’s negative views of anal sex?

    The same thoughts I have on society’s negative views of sexuality in general. I think it’s bogus and unnecessary. I hate that we’re a society of sexual beings, whether we like it or not, because that’s our biology, and yet it’s still so taboo to talk about sex, or sell sexual products, or own a sexual business, or write a sexual story. Even though it’s been happening for centuries, guys are still all uncomfortable about the idea of anal penetration, because they’re guys. Like I just think we need to be able to be open and honest and communicative and sexual, because that’s how we were designed. We should be allowed to freely express that!

    Enhanced by Zemanta

    Last night, The Boyfriend and I were so lucky. My Mom took the kids overnight, and we got to go out, just the two of us. It rarely happens, so you can imagine the relief we both felt.

    I had mentioned a fire pit event that I was interested in going to, hosted by BUD for the Bodies Under Domination group of FetLife. His was also the first munch I ever successfully attended. There was also a munch today that I was hoping to go to, but no babysitter unfortunately.

    The Boyfriend basically said that it would be cool to go, but made no strides in doing so. Yesterday, we went to the exercise park with the kids and my Mom came outside with us, so without even consulting The Boyfriend, I just asked if she would watch the kids so that I could go to the fire pit. I had made the decision by that point that I was going, regardless of his decision.

    But then, he seemed excited about it and we spent the next two hours rushing around getting the kids and ourselves ready to go. Then we went out to the fire pit. There was only two others there besides The Boyfriend and I. But it ended up working out so much in our favor that it didn’t even matter.

    After sitting out at the fire pit, just shooting the shit, we got into my favorite parts of the conversation. One thing lead to another, and one of the people is pulling out a bag of toys. So we head inside, set up a table, and lay out a huge duffle bag full of toys.

    From long 24″ leather floggers, to crops and canes and even shoes and over-sized fly swatter, I just sat mesmerized. Both The Boyfriend and I were just staring in amazement at the delights that laid before us. Then came the touching. Each toy was picked up, carefully inspected. After I was done looking at anything, I’d hand it to The Boyfriend, and he’d inspect it.

    Then I asked a question about flogging, and next thing you know, guy with bag is standing there while BUD shows me on him how to do some basic flogging swings. Then, the most exciting part happened. BUD tells me, just try to hit him with it. I had picked out a 24″ Red and Black Leather flogger. I was incredibly nervous.

    This person wasn’t my boyfriend, I had just met him that night, and I was so flustered and giddy. But I got a few good swings in (very gentle swings, but good technique), and it was a very good educational experience. I learnt ALOT!!!! Then I got to try out this really awesome slapper that The Boyfriend and I are both seriously wanting.

    The Boyfriend stood in the background, carefully watching me. I was so nervous that he’d be upset that I was flogging someone else, and I didn’t even think to ask him if he was okay with it until I had already started. When we left, he said that he just felt very excited for me. I felt very excited too.

    After some practicing with the flogger, and getting tons of really usefully tips, and playing with a slapper, we went back out to the pit and talked some more. Then The Boyfriend came home. The night, from that point on, was filled with more communication than I ever think we’ve experienced together.

    On the way home, we mostly talked about the entire experience of the night. He shared what he thought and felt, and I just kept thinking that he sounded so into it. Then I asked, completely outright without any type of insecurity involved, if I looked good wielding a big flogger, to which I got a speedy “Yes”.

    So we stopped at one of The Boyfriend’s friends houses, and a Chris Rock special was on the Comedy Network. He was telling a joke about once a guy has sex that he likes, he always wants his sex like that. Something to do with girls licking anus‘. To which The Boyfriend’s friend was overwhelming disgusted. This friend and I are both very stubborn people. I’m stubborn in my open-mindedness and acceptance of thing, and he’s stubborn in his close-mindedness. So we get into a mini argument about why he wouldn’t even consider letting a girl go anywhere near his ass.

    So on the remainder of the drive home, The Boyfriend and I were mostly talking about anal play with males. I’m kind of known for being that girl that introduces guys to that whole thing. With every boyfriend I’ve had up to this point in my life, I’m the one that suggests a finger in the ass for them, and I’m the one to do it. I even have an entire technique and system.

    And it’s not like I’m some pervert obsessed with ass play type deal. It is purely this rule that I have about sexual acts in general. You can’t ever say that you don’t like something without trying it first. Anatomically, the male G-spot is against his prostate gland, which can only be accessed via perineum stimulation and anal penetration. I haven’t personally found my own G-spot, but if it feels as good as people say it does, than why would anyone not want to experience it?

    The trick is to warm a guy up to it. And they sure as hell aren’t going to let you do it to them, if they don’t get to do it to you. This may be completely different for older people, in a kinkier world. But in my young, mostly vanilla world, you have to receive to be allowed to give, and vice versa.

    I tend to love to play with balls, it’s just one of my things. Balls and pre-cum, I can’t get enough of it. I’d probably make a pretty good guy 😉 So when I decide that we’re finally at a point in the relationship, where he trusts me with his body (basically, if he’ll let you tie him up or cover his eyes, then you’re probably okay to give it a try), I’ll begin playing with his balls. I’ll reach as low as I can, and take both balls in my hands. Slowly I make my way to his perineum, just very gently touching it.

    Then you apply a little bit of pressure. It’s always great in that area to keep your finger flat against his perineum, that way there’s less of a chance of scratching anything with nails. Generally, it’s a very gradual thing. I think once you decide that you really want to get a finger in your boyfriend’s butt, you should take your time and slowly build up to it. You don’t want him freaking out about it, and telling you know. You’d rather him tell you that he’s ready for it. This could take a couple of days, a couple of months or years.

    Guys that I know and have successfully penetrated anally, are normally not into the idea of it at all. Prior to meeting me, they had never really had a desire to have anything in their anus. Exit only type of people. Most times, I don’t ask them or discuss it with them, I just ease them into the idea of it with simple techniques until eventually they grab the lube an ask for it themselves.

    It normally takes me a minimum of three serious “I’m into it” sessions, before the big first penetration session. He’s oblivious to the fact that I have any interest in it. So the first time, I grab his balls and lift them up, just gently running the flat of my finger from the bottom of his balls to his perineum just a little bit and very gently. The next session, I’ll rub his balls and slowly move until my finger is mostly on his perineum, gently rubbing in a circular motion. On the third time, I cover his entire perineum with my finger, and as I rub in a circular motion, I gently dip the tip of my finger just where it’s touching his anus. Do that a few more times, and soon after that, it will be when you least expect it, he’ll whisper in your ear and next thing you know, you’ll be gently working your way into his anus.

    My top rules are always always always use lube. There is never a time when you enter someone’s anus that you shouldn’t be using lube. The anus has no natural lubrication, and the friction can cause tearing, which can cause even more problems. Another rule is to go very gently to start out with. You don’t want the person to clench up and potentially tear or cause other damage.

    So far, I have found two very specific things to do that seems to be of great enjoyment, though would love any suggestions if you have any. As I’m normally on the bottom, and he’s normally on top, and we’re normally having sex at the point of penetration, I can really only give suggestions on that position, though I’m sure if you mixed it up more you could do some other great things.

    When he’s pumping in and out of me quickly, I tend to just flick my finger back and forth. Then when he slows, gently pulling my finger back and forth. I try to never let my finger come out of his ass, because I know from my own anal explorations that once it’s out it’s very hard for me to get to the point where I’m okay with it going back in. Also the closer you get to the outside of his anus, the more he’s going to tighten up, and again you don’t want to be pushing back inside him while he’s all clenched. So just slow and gentle movements. When he wants it harder, he’ll push against your finger. I don’t even think they do it on purpose, I think it’s just the bodies reaction to it.

    I wasn’t planning on going off about that so much… But it was basically what I told The Boyfriend. I’m the vanilla male anal breaker 😉

    So after hours of communicating, talking about what we both seem to like and dislike about various aspects of BDSM, story-telling and more, we had planned to play games, but then everything just ended up turning sexual.

    We had sex with the lights on for the first time in months! I felt incredibly uncomfortable, but at the same time I was so excited about the fact that I could be as noisy as I wanted, that I hardly even noticed. My favorite thing about having the light on, is I could tell every single time he looked at me. I’ve always loved that about sex. That exchange. I feel like we connect on a very deep level when we’re fucking each other, and then just slow down and stare into each others eyes. Even when we’re having rough, crazy, dirty sex it feels so intimate and passionate.

    After what felt like a long time, but was less than 30 minutes, The Boyfriend came and once we cleaned up a little, it was my turn to cum. He was rubbing my legs as I rhythmically played with my clit. After awhile of this he finally put his finger in my pussy, and within seconds I was cumming, my entire body clenching frantically. We fell asleep almost immediately after that, him holding me and me holding him.

    Last night was an incredible night. From the amazing, educational fire pit, to the intimate and loud sex, I can’t wait for more nights like that!

    Enhanced by Zemanta

    Just wanted to let everyone know about a new challenge that starts July 1st, 2010. Challenging you to do 100-Kegels-A-Day for 90 Days, to strengthen and tone your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle for better control over your pelvic floor.

    Consequences of pelvic floor muscle weakness:

    • Involuntary urine or bowel leakage
    • Pelvic prolapse, which involves your pelvic organs (bladder, rectum, internal genital organs) “falling out of place”, often protruding from the vagina or anus

    The benefits of doing kegel exercises:

    • Makes childbirth easier
    • Heightens sensitivity during sexual activity
    • Lifted testicles
    • More genital control

    The 100-Kegel-A-Day Challenge offers a handy tracking tool, with an optional self-assessment questionnaire.

    Visit the website or e-mail to get more information!

    NOTE: It is recommended that, if you are new to kegel exercises, you start with 10-15 contractions a day and gradually increase to the 100 contractions a day. Learn more about the PROPER way to do kegel exercises at the link above.