Posts Tagged ‘Bondage Tape’

The night before last, The Boyfriend finally used the bondage tape on me. He seemed to have a much more luck with the tape then when I tried it out. He artfully wrapped my wrists together and then connected them to the bed so that my arms were together and over my head.

You’d think with all my image issues, that laying there, completely exposed and naked, would’ve made me helpless and out of control and vulnerable. Alas, it did no such thing. I still felt like I had complete control of the situation (even after he bound my feet together), I felt empowered and sexy and desirable. And while all that is great and good, I wanted to feel that weakness and vulnerability.

Ever since that night, it’s all I can think about. In day-to-day life, I have to be so in control of everything. In control of the kids, in control of the cleaning, in control of the money, so in control… Back in the day, I would’ve just been happy with that.

A friend on FetLife today, asked if I’d had any luck dominating The Boyfriend and I remembered the last time I attempted to dominate him and felt completely uncomfortable. I almost felt more vulnerable topping him. It got me thinking though about whether or not I actually desire to dominate The Boyfriend.

I’m so naturally submissive to him sexually. Even though, I’m normally a take control type of girl in the bedroom, and usually am the one initiating everything. With him, I crave his approval and am constantly thinking of pleasing him (not only sexually, but in other areas – even though I’m not very good at it), and it just seems that submission is the best course.

When I think about it, I desire to submit to him more than I desire to dominate him. I just wish I could feel less in control with him, during sexual things mostly. I wish that I had defined limitation for him to break, though currently I’ve got such an, “I’m open to anything” attitude, that it makes it very hard for him.

I think after the better majority of our life is under more control (mostly finances), I’m gonna seriously start pushing for us to create some sort of defined relationship type dealy. We’ve both shown great interest in the idea of punishments and rewards, and I think it would be a great motivator for me to accomplish some of the goals that I’ve put out for myself this year.

I’ve told him that I think it would be cool if we had set rules, like for instance, at a certain time everyday I have to do a workout (and since he’s always said he wants to be my personal trainer, he can choose the exercises), and if I don’t, I get punished with something that I wouldn’t like. Preferably something humiliating. Or that all the dishes have to be done and put away, or I’ll be forced to do something like, the dishes naked or clean the toilet with a toothbrush or stand in the corner or something.

I think I’m just mostly determined to take the only-for-foreplay thing out of the parts of our sex life that excite me the most. It’s something I really want to try 24/7, not 15 minutes once a week!

So, I’ve been hard at work these last couple of days, writing and writing and writing The Brighton Tales over at The Erotica of a Tortured Mind. I’ve made it to the end of Chapter 5, and now I’m unsure where to go. There’s so many characters who could potentially carry on in the story in a variety of different ways, and now I’m not sure who I want to write about. Any suggestions? You can e-mail me, comment here, comment there, leave a suggestion in the suggestion box on the left sidebar on The Erotica of a Tortured Mind, or anywhere else you can contact me (and there’s too many to list here!).

It’s been pretty exhilarating writing this whole thing. I didn’t even really mean to, it pretty much just started testing out Blogger in Draft. It’s the first time I’ve ever written a story without thinking it through ahead of time. I’m just kind of letting the story take me wherever it takes me.

Nothing kinky has happened around here lately. The Boyfriend’s got an extra day off this week, so the outlook for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday looks fun. He’s already got plans for using the bondage tape on me, and he keeps shaking his butt in front of me, and saying, “Wouldn’t you like to flog this?”. To which I quickly and excitedly reply, “Yes, please!!”

I see one of two things happening from the rather vanilla boyfriend (and I’m hoping that they don’t). Either:

  1. He’s gonna seem bored, much like he did until the bondage tape was removed from his wrists
  2. He’s gonna flinch about and give up before it even gets good, claiming that it hurts too much (Alfie used to do it all the time, even when I was being incredibly gentle. Probably because he just wasn’t that interested…)

So I’m hoping neither of those things will happen. I’m hoping instead that it gets him really turned on, I’m hoping that he’ll like it enough to want it more and more until he craves it as much as I do. I know, I’ve got high hopes 😉

Even if he decides he hates being beneath the flogger, I think I’ll be okay. As long as he still likes wielding the flogger, which I think he really does. I would rather live the rest of my life, submitting to a flogger, than not having any connection to BDSM. Even though my ultimate desire is to have someone submitting to me. But minor details, we’ll work that out later.

We also stopped by our local Wal-Mart’s family planning section, where you can get condoms and lubes and the dreaded yeast infection solutions. Even though it’s a small section, they had a pretty good selection of stuff. Flavored lubes, warming lubes, lubes that doubled as moisturizer (which is the only lube I own, and rarely ever use), ribbed condoms, twisted condoms. The one thing I didn’t see was a female condom, though I have no interest in using one of them.

I’m not even really interested in using regular condoms, hence the depo. But The Boyfriend seems to be showing interest in introducing condoms. I think part of it is fear that I’ll get pregnant again, and neither one of us want that anytime soon. We’ve both agreed when all the kids we currently have are in school (at least another 5 years), that we’ll try once more for a girl. But right now, it would just suck! I think the other part of it, is purely just thinking of changing it up, which I think is sweet.

So no participants in WTMFI Wednesdays yet. Hopefully that changes soon. If you have any questions, you’re more than welcome to contact me.

Finally, last night, I whipped out the bondage tape. It was already late, and really we should have just gone to sleep, but I’ve been craving strapping his hands together so bad, and he goes back to work tonight, so it had to be last night.

I had said before we went to bed, that I wanted to have sex. Though I guess he didn’t really believe me. I finished feeding Carter and rolled over and automatically started making out with him. Then I crawled on top of him and continued making out with him.

I grabbed the bondage tape, and after much fighting with it and plenty of giggles from the both of us, I quickly and messily wrapped it around his wrists, and then wrapped another strip through the center and tied it to the bed. It was a very unprofessional job, but I think that it’s going to take alot more practice, because the stuff sticks together weird.

Of course, the second he was secure enough for my liking, I tickled him and he bucked his hips wildly trying to knock me off of him. He laid quite still, with his eyes closed and hands tied up behind him, and first I straddled facing him, and then straddled facing away from him. Then I was facing him again.

To me, it felt like he was bored. Normally, he’s so in control during sex, that I just started thinking by the end of it, “Man, I really suck in bed”, even though I’m hoping that’s not the truth. During our talk later, he said that he definitely wasn’t bored, but I don’t know if I believe him.

I took his hands down from the bed, and asked him if he’d like to fuck me from behind, which seems to be my favourite position lately. First, because I think I feel tighter, I don’t know if that’s the truth or not, but I’m convinced. And second, because it’s the easiest way for me to masturbate, and more often than not we cum at the same time, and I absolutely love when that happens.

His wrists were still together, and he got behind me and put his hands at the lowest part of my back, right above my ass. He pulled me back and forth onto him, and I knew we’d be cumming in no time. Then all of a sudden, he had ripped the tape off from around his wrists, and was down on top of me. Within minutes, he was cumming. After he was done, I came, using my pillow to try my hardest to muffle my moans.

I enjoyed it, though it didn’t go at all the way I had planned it. Next time, I think I might try to strap his hands to his thighs, that way he can touch my skin with his fingers and nothing more. I missed having his touch during it all, and felt less sexy because of it.

I was a little sad, because during the whole day, I kept teasing him with a flogging. And then once we got down to bed, and the bondage tape was on, sex became more important than flogging as the clock neared 4 AM, and I had to be up at 7:30.  Flogging probably would’ve resulted in yet another all-nighter. And I’m still trying to recover from the last one…

I’ve been writing like it’s going out of style these last couple of days. It’s too bad it’s National Novel Writing Month, because I’m pretty sure I’ll have one by the end of this month. I even went as far as to add a chapter widget to The Erotica of a Tortured Mind, so that those that are new can read from the start of the story and carry on.

I’ve been having so much fun writing it and now The Boyfriend is all jealous. He’s been working on a story idea since we started dating. Possibly before that, but I didn’t know about it then. His story is much more intricate than my story, and he’s got maps and timelines and factions. My story doesn’t have that. He finally read it, after I printed the pages out for him, and he goes, “You’re so much better of a writer than I am.” I completely disagree with him.

Though I do hold alot of pride in the writing of The Brighton Tales and think it is probably the best thing I’ve written to date (that wasn’t a journal entry), I enjoy the way The Boyfriend writes and thinks he has serious potential. If his job didn’t make it so hard to stay on the computer and just write, and if we didn’t have four kids running about the house ready to distract him at any given moment, I’m sure he could bang out a completed story in no time.

I love that I’m finally with a guy who is creative, and it’s not a competition. We can both write stories, and read each others stuff and given constructive criticism easily. He’s the first guy I’ve ever been with, who when he sings along with music, I don’t cringe and try to stealthily cover my ears. I think it’s been a good couple of days.

So, I have a question. I know that I’ve been getting quite a few readers (an average of 31/week), and I know that my viewings always spike on WTMFI Wednesdays. So I wanna know why people haven’t started participating yet? Does anyone run a successful meme styled post and know how to get participants? I want to read your guys’ experiences too, not just write about mine. So again, I will tell you all, COMMENTS ARE WELCOMED AND ENCOURAGED! It brings excitement to my day when someone comments on my blog. So, comment on my posts already! 😉

Since the start of my interests in BDSM, I’ve always questioned whether or not I would actually enjoy the activities that are included, or if I just liked the concept of them. Did I just like the idea of being flogged, or would I truly enjoy being flogged or flogging someone else? Is it just the idea of being tied up that’s a turn on, or would I really be turned on from it?

Well, last night, after receiving my flogger and bondage tape that I had ordered online in the mail, I got to experience my first flogging ever. The Boyfriend even let me hit him a couple times 😉

So, we bought the Angel Hair Flogger – 14″. Prior to using it, and just testing it out on my leg, I was sure The Boyfriend wouldn’t be able to hit hard enough. Thankfully, I was wrong and he was able to get the latex falls to snap and sting. The sound of the flogger was the best part. As he swung through the air, a sharp swooshing noise. Even better was the sound of the hit. It was loud enogh to be hot for us, but not so loud as to wake up the kids!

I was almost surprised at how much The Boyfriend seemed to be into it. At first, he was more playful than serious about it. Starting upstairs, he would just playfully swing it, barely skimming my ass. Once we got downstairs though, it was almost as if he transformed into the loving, in control Top. It was almost like he had done it before, and had spent hours researching it on the computer.

He seemed to pick up on every cue, and corrected any mistakes almost as soon as they happened. He started off slow and gradually picked up pace. He would rain down a succession of blows and then it seemed like he knew the second it started to “hurt” for me, where I would feel the need to pull away. But even before I pulled away, he’d stop and rub the area of impact.

He’d practice whichever swing he went for first in the air, and the sound alone made me incredibly wet. Then he’d bring the falls down upon me, the first couple of times, very lightly, just tickling my skin. By the end, he was hitting hard enough that I was experiencing the same painful pleasure brought on by spanking.

It is still an incredibly gentle flogger, and I’m very curious to experiment more with it and find out if it’s possible to break skin with it. We didn’t get a chance to use the bondage tape, because we were too into the flogger. So that will probably have to wait until his next days off.

The sex afterwards was amazing, though that’s not really new for our sex life. Pretty much every time we have sex, it’s amazing. He was trying really hard to be gentle, because he’s worried that rough sex is the reason I’ve been bleeding so long after having Carter (only had maybe 5 days in 4 months where I wasn’t bleeding!).

For the second time in a row (and it hasn’t ever really happened alot, so it’s super exciting for us both), I got off at his hand. This time was especially hot, because as I came, he came. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t really know the answer, but cumming at the same time always feels much more intimate and passionate and special.

We spent a couple minutes, wrapped in each others arms, coming down from a blissful experience, recounting all our favourite things about the night. Then came the planning of future sexpeditions, where he’s asked to be taped and has told me to expect my own. I wonder how well the bondage tape will really work?

I still feel like all of this kinky stuff that we’re doing, is still just kinky stuff. It feels like a precursor to sex and nothing more. While we were upstairs and he was playfully hitting, I kept asking myself, “Am I okay with this? Am I okay with it just being a type of foreplay? This isn’t how I pictured this, am I really okay with it?”, and I decided that I would rather have some kinky foreplay that involves elements of BDSM that I desire, than have no interactions with kink or BDSM. It’s one of those situations where you take what you can get when you can get it,  and for the moment, I am satisfied with that 😉

I was pretty happy a couple days back, when The XXX Rated Rantings hit a page view of 69, obviously my favourite oral position! And I’m happy to report that WTMFI Wednesdays is gaining popularity and we’ve had over 20 readers for the past two weeks! So now, I’m begging you to all help me get to another milestone, and start participating in WTMFI Wednesdays.

Leave your comments here, post your links to your sites in the comment section, answer or leave links on the message forum, send your answer to Valerie Rayne. All of the ways to participate are here. Plus you can leave your comments for any of the posts, they are more than welcome!

The day before yesterday, The Boyfriend and I were sitting around bored out of our skulls with nothing better to do than doodle and write. I didn’t want to go on the computer, because I wanted to cuddle and he didn’t want to play games because he had already done that that day.

I, of course, was thinking about nothing more than sex and BDSM, which is all I ever seem to be thinking about lately. Anywho, I started thinking about my perfect scenario of 24/7 BDSM. Came to the realization that it would not be even slightly possible as long as any of my kids still lived at home.

So I thought it would be fun to share with all of you what I came up with so far. Unfortunately, this whole scenario is based off of alot of different factors, which include:

  1. Need to find a S/switch man who doesn’t mind sharing
  2. Need to get to the point where I don’t mind sharing
  3. No kids in the house (or if there are kids in the house, must understand BDSM fully)
  4. I have to have a full-time day job, where I’m leaving the house at a set time and arriving home at a set time
  5. Need an extremely large house, like a mansion or castle
  6. Need 9 submissive or S/switch people to fulfill spots 😉

Okay, okay. I know it sounds a little far-fetched, and I’m aware that realistically I’ll probably only ever get half of what I wanted, but I’m talking about perfect worlds, which we all know don’t exist!

So a few basic things before we get into the better part of this. In a perfect world, protocols and rules and consequences would be a big part of everyday BDSM play for me. I would like to believe, from my rather inexperienced perspective, that BDSM can be a very therapeutic, life-altering experience. I also like the idea of behaviour modification.

Okay so first I’ll break down how the whole thing would work. Let’s pretend that in this perfect world, The Boyfriend is Master and I am Mistress. I would be Master’s alpha slave, if you will, and he will be my Dominant. He will have a male alpha slave as well. He will also have one female submissive and two male submissive’s.

(F.Y.I. – We are working under the premise that, the slaves are collared and “owned” and the submissives are un-collared slaves-in-training)

Mistress will have an alpha male slave and alpha female slave, two female submissives and two male submissives. Master and Mistress would also own a male and female submissive together. Now, that’s not to say that either would not be allowed to discipline the others submissive in the absence of the Owner. I hope this all still making sense.

So I was thinking about this perfect world life, where I worked 9 to 5, Monday to Friday. Came home at the exact same time (or thereabouts) every single day. So I started thinking about what I’d want the ritual of coming home to be like. Of course, this sent me spiraling into thoughts about every little detail, but I thought it would be fun to share with you what coming home would look like to me, in a perfect world.

As I stumble towards the front door of my house, after my exhausting long day of work, I am excited and relieved to think about what’s on the other side.When I step up the last stair, onto the porch, the heavy door slides open, showing me the comforts of my home. I take a step in, and my alpha male is kneeling at my right, holding a martini upwards, with his other hand outstretched waiting for my bags. My alpha female is kneeling to my left, eyes down with a pair of slippers between her teeth. I lightly tap her head, and she removes each of my shoes, replacing them quickly with the slippers.

My alpha male escorts me to the lavish dining room, his arm wrapped around mine, while my alpha female crawls along behind me. Master is already seated at the large dining table, with his alpha male and female submissive kneeling on the floor beside him, to his left and right respectively. In three of the four corners of the room, stands the male and female submissive that Master and I are training together, and one of my male submissives. The males are in charge of food and wine service and clean-up and the female is the cook of the house, preparing all the food (with the help of the other submissives). Her main duty is to prepare menus and choose wine pairings.

My alpha male pulls out my seat, and waits for me to be seated before kneeling beside me. My alpha female is already kneeling next to me and awaiting further instructions. Master and I would ring a bell simultaneously (and submissive’s would be punished if they came when only when bell was rang – the bells being of completely different tones), and the remaining submissives would enter, kiss my feet and then kiss Master’s feet, and then stand behind their designated seating position, which only varied when company attended or on special ocassions, such as birthdays and anniversaries.

My alpha female would then be seated to my left, and after she was seated, the other submissives could then be seated. One of the submissives, in the corner behind my chair, would serve us the wine of the evening. Master and I would receive our wine in fine goblets, the alpha slaves would be served their wine in boring glass cups and the submissives would be given plastic champagne flutes to drink from.

Food when then be served from the submissive in the corner behind Master’s chair, from a large table behind Master. Service would start with the submissives, then the alpha slaves and then Master and finally Mistress, so that food did not go cold for Master or Mistress. Both alpha males, if you recall, are still kneeling on the floor, and are given their food on the floor. After Master and Mistress, they are then allowed to sit cross-legged on the floor to eat their food, and are permitted to use proper utensils. Again, this changes with company or special occasion.

After wine is served and all the plates have been filled, the food and wine submissives take their seats at the table at designated positions. The female submissive chef, comes to the right hand side of the Mistress, from the left hand corner of the dining room, to present that dish. She describes, in detail, the food we are about to eat, from ingredients used to cooking methods. Her duty is to make us appreciate the food before it even reaches our mouths.

After the explanation, she takes her designated seat, and all slaves and submissives watch both Master and Mistress. Master’s slaves (including me, his alpha female) and submissives will not take a single bite until he has taken at least three. Mistress’ slaves and submissives will not have a single bite until she has taken at least three.

After the first course, normally a salad, two more courses are served. The actual dinner and then a desert, and all the courses will take on almost the same pattern. Wine server serves wine, then sits at his seat. Food server serves food, then sits at his seat. Chef describes her dish and sits at her seat. Mistress waits for Master’s first three bites along with his alpha male and submissives. Mistress’ slaves and submissives wait for her third bite before beginning.

After dinner is complete, the submissives who didn’t serve food or wine or describe dishes they made, clear the table while Master and Mistress and the alpha slaves retire to wherever Master and Mistress decide, either all together or separately.

So that’s the “I just got home from a long day of work” scenario. One of these days, I’ll write about more about the happenings in a perfect world. That was just where I got to so far.

On another note entirely, I thought I should let everyone know that this week, for the first time in my life, I purchased something off the internet. And wouldn’t you know, the first time I buy anything online, it’s something kinky 😉

The Boyfriend comes home, hands me a card, and says “There’s a hundred bucks for you to play with one there.”, this being right after his birthday (and I hadn’t gotten him a real present yet, because everything he really wants is online!). So I spent almost the entire day looking around on the internet, trying to find things for his birthday and as he said, “a present for yourself”. He knew that I would go for something kinky, he was hoping a dildo, but I wanted something else.

Well, he got Mario Party 8 for the Wii, I spent less and got a red “angel hair” flogger and some black bondage tape. Each thing should be here around about the 15th. So, the first time I buy anything online is also the first time I’m ever going to see a flogger in real life!!! I’m incredibly excited.

So my question to all of you is, do you know of any really good resources online for learning more about floggers (I already know quite a bit, but I feel like I should take a refresher and should make sure to show The Boyfriend some of the stuff, before everything gets here)? And does anyone have any advice for a first flogging session?

Well I should probably get going. Thanks again to everyone reading. I haven’t had under 10 readers in a week and a half, so I’m pretty excited about that. Now, I just need to get some more comments coming in!