Posts Tagged ‘Bondage’

WTMFI Wednesdays Button

“Would You Rather…”

CherriesThis Week’s Questions

  1. Would you rather have anal sex or vaginal sex?
  2. Would you rather be pooped on or peed on?
  3. Would you rather be the one tying the rope or the one being tied in the rope?
  4. Would you rather use a banana or a cucumber as an insertable?
  5. Would you rather cuddle or make out?

BONUS QUESTION:
Would you rather being given the silent treatment or being yelled at?

RULES

  • Each week, for Wednesday, you post answers to the five questions that are posted. You may answer all, or only one or two of the questions. You can post in whichever format works for you, be it video, poetry, answers, pictures or audio.
  • Insert the WTMFI Wednesdays image at the top of this post (get instructions here) into your post, linking back to The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – XXX Rated Edition at https://rantingsofatorturedmindxxx.wordpress.com
  • Leave a link to your post with the answered questions in the comments section of Wednesday’s WTMFI post. There is a special page for all the links that are submitted, so be sure to submit your links.
  • Have Fun!!!!
  • … Click the Read More button to see Valerie Rayne’s answers … (more…)

    The night before last, The Boyfriend finally used the bondage tape on me. He seemed to have a much more luck with the tape then when I tried it out. He artfully wrapped my wrists together and then connected them to the bed so that my arms were together and over my head.

    You’d think with all my image issues, that laying there, completely exposed and naked, would’ve made me helpless and out of control and vulnerable. Alas, it did no such thing. I still felt like I had complete control of the situation (even after he bound my feet together), I felt empowered and sexy and desirable. And while all that is great and good, I wanted to feel that weakness and vulnerability.

    Ever since that night, it’s all I can think about. In day-to-day life, I have to be so in control of everything. In control of the kids, in control of the cleaning, in control of the money, so in control… Back in the day, I would’ve just been happy with that.

    A friend on FetLife today, asked if I’d had any luck dominating The Boyfriend and I remembered the last time I attempted to dominate him and felt completely uncomfortable. I almost felt more vulnerable topping him. It got me thinking though about whether or not I actually desire to dominate The Boyfriend.

    I’m so naturally submissive to him sexually. Even though, I’m normally a take control type of girl in the bedroom, and usually am the one initiating everything. With him, I crave his approval and am constantly thinking of pleasing him (not only sexually, but in other areas – even though I’m not very good at it), and it just seems that submission is the best course.

    When I think about it, I desire to submit to him more than I desire to dominate him. I just wish I could feel less in control with him, during sexual things mostly. I wish that I had defined limitation for him to break, though currently I’ve got such an, “I’m open to anything” attitude, that it makes it very hard for him.

    I think after the better majority of our life is under more control (mostly finances), I’m gonna seriously start pushing for us to create some sort of defined relationship type dealy. We’ve both shown great interest in the idea of punishments and rewards, and I think it would be a great motivator for me to accomplish some of the goals that I’ve put out for myself this year.

    I’ve told him that I think it would be cool if we had set rules, like for instance, at a certain time everyday I have to do a workout (and since he’s always said he wants to be my personal trainer, he can choose the exercises), and if I don’t, I get punished with something that I wouldn’t like. Preferably something humiliating. Or that all the dishes have to be done and put away, or I’ll be forced to do something like, the dishes naked or clean the toilet with a toothbrush or stand in the corner or something.

    I think I’m just mostly determined to take the only-for-foreplay thing out of the parts of our sex life that excite me the most. It’s something I really want to try 24/7, not 15 minutes once a week!

    Finally, last night, I whipped out the bondage tape. It was already late, and really we should have just gone to sleep, but I’ve been craving strapping his hands together so bad, and he goes back to work tonight, so it had to be last night.

    I had said before we went to bed, that I wanted to have sex. Though I guess he didn’t really believe me. I finished feeding Carter and rolled over and automatically started making out with him. Then I crawled on top of him and continued making out with him.

    I grabbed the bondage tape, and after much fighting with it and plenty of giggles from the both of us, I quickly and messily wrapped it around his wrists, and then wrapped another strip through the center and tied it to the bed. It was a very unprofessional job, but I think that it’s going to take alot more practice, because the stuff sticks together weird.

    Of course, the second he was secure enough for my liking, I tickled him and he bucked his hips wildly trying to knock me off of him. He laid quite still, with his eyes closed and hands tied up behind him, and first I straddled facing him, and then straddled facing away from him. Then I was facing him again.

    To me, it felt like he was bored. Normally, he’s so in control during sex, that I just started thinking by the end of it, “Man, I really suck in bed”, even though I’m hoping that’s not the truth. During our talk later, he said that he definitely wasn’t bored, but I don’t know if I believe him.

    I took his hands down from the bed, and asked him if he’d like to fuck me from behind, which seems to be my favourite position lately. First, because I think I feel tighter, I don’t know if that’s the truth or not, but I’m convinced. And second, because it’s the easiest way for me to masturbate, and more often than not we cum at the same time, and I absolutely love when that happens.

    His wrists were still together, and he got behind me and put his hands at the lowest part of my back, right above my ass. He pulled me back and forth onto him, and I knew we’d be cumming in no time. Then all of a sudden, he had ripped the tape off from around his wrists, and was down on top of me. Within minutes, he was cumming. After he was done, I came, using my pillow to try my hardest to muffle my moans.

    I enjoyed it, though it didn’t go at all the way I had planned it. Next time, I think I might try to strap his hands to his thighs, that way he can touch my skin with his fingers and nothing more. I missed having his touch during it all, and felt less sexy because of it.

    I was a little sad, because during the whole day, I kept teasing him with a flogging. And then once we got down to bed, and the bondage tape was on, sex became more important than flogging as the clock neared 4 AM, and I had to be up at 7:30.  Flogging probably would’ve resulted in yet another all-nighter. And I’m still trying to recover from the last one…

    I’ve been writing like it’s going out of style these last couple of days. It’s too bad it’s National Novel Writing Month, because I’m pretty sure I’ll have one by the end of this month. I even went as far as to add a chapter widget to The Erotica of a Tortured Mind, so that those that are new can read from the start of the story and carry on.

    I’ve been having so much fun writing it and now The Boyfriend is all jealous. He’s been working on a story idea since we started dating. Possibly before that, but I didn’t know about it then. His story is much more intricate than my story, and he’s got maps and timelines and factions. My story doesn’t have that. He finally read it, after I printed the pages out for him, and he goes, “You’re so much better of a writer than I am.” I completely disagree with him.

    Though I do hold alot of pride in the writing of The Brighton Tales and think it is probably the best thing I’ve written to date (that wasn’t a journal entry), I enjoy the way The Boyfriend writes and thinks he has serious potential. If his job didn’t make it so hard to stay on the computer and just write, and if we didn’t have four kids running about the house ready to distract him at any given moment, I’m sure he could bang out a completed story in no time.

    I love that I’m finally with a guy who is creative, and it’s not a competition. We can both write stories, and read each others stuff and given constructive criticism easily. He’s the first guy I’ve ever been with, who when he sings along with music, I don’t cringe and try to stealthily cover my ears. I think it’s been a good couple of days.

    So, I have a question. I know that I’ve been getting quite a few readers (an average of 31/week), and I know that my viewings always spike on WTMFI Wednesdays. So I wanna know why people haven’t started participating yet? Does anyone run a successful meme styled post and know how to get participants? I want to read your guys’ experiences too, not just write about mine. So again, I will tell you all, COMMENTS ARE WELCOMED AND ENCOURAGED! It brings excitement to my day when someone comments on my blog. So, comment on my posts already! 😉

    So I was clicking around on my FetLife groups today, and I stumbled across this post, which discusses when you should cut your partner out of rope bondage. Reading through it, all these people are commenting on the Dominants responsibility to constantly be checking for signs of distress in the submissive.

    Seanchai comments:

    There’s little more frustrating than a bottom who, trying to respect their top, doesn’t speak up when something is mildly irritating, only for it to become a major “oh god cut the rope NOW” problem once you’ve got twenty or thirty feet of rope around them.

    And I’m just thinking, it sure sounds like submissive’s are almost given excuses to not communicate effectively. Personally, if I were ever in a situation with another person, where they basically hold my life and safety in their hands, I would communicate everything and if they didn’t like it, then they’re not a very good Top for me.

    This whole topic makes me think about sexual communication in general. Why is it that, even though we’ve been having sex since the beginning of time, it’s still one of the hardest things for people to talk about comfortably?

    I’m the type of person whose communicating constantly about sex. It probably gets annoying for everyone else around me. And it’s most important for me during sex. I’ll speak up the second anything doesn’t feel right, and The Boyfriend and I will spend a good half hour after every sex session, recounting the  things we liked and didn’t like.

    What’s more surprising to me, is that, with how good I am at communication and sex, I’m pretty crappy with communication and day-to-day life. I think it’s because life always hurts and is always uncomfortable and awkward. There’s always something about life… I can communicate that pain in my ass, a thousand and one times in a minute, and it’s not going to change the fact that it’s still a pain in my ass.

    There’s no EMT scissors to cut me out of awkward situations, there’s no pulling out when shit gets to deep. All the aftercare in the world isn’t going to change the fact that tomorrow will be (and if it’s not tomorrow, the day will come) another crappy day without the hand of a Top to save you. Sadness…

    Well maybe we can add this to a list of goals then. First, be a responsible and safe submissive. Second, get as good at communicating about day-to-day life as you do about sex. And thirdly, start reading more discussions in the BDSM Mentors Group (which I don’t usually do…).