Posts Tagged ‘Foreplay’

The night before last, The Boyfriend finally used the bondage tape on me. He seemed to have a much more luck with the tape then when I tried it out. He artfully wrapped my wrists together and then connected them to the bed so that my arms were together and over my head.

You’d think with all my image issues, that laying there, completely exposed and naked, would’ve made me helpless and out of control and vulnerable. Alas, it did no such thing. I still felt like I had complete control of the situation (even after he bound my feet together), I felt empowered and sexy and desirable. And while all that is great and good, I wanted to feel that weakness and vulnerability.

Ever since that night, it’s all I can think about. In day-to-day life, I have to be so in control of everything. In control of the kids, in control of the cleaning, in control of the money, so in control… Back in the day, I would’ve just been happy with that.

A friend on FetLife today, asked if I’d had any luck dominating The Boyfriend and I remembered the last time I attempted to dominate him and felt completely uncomfortable. I almost felt more vulnerable topping him. It got me thinking though about whether or not I actually desire to dominate The Boyfriend.

I’m so naturally submissive to him sexually. Even though, I’m normally a take control type of girl in the bedroom, and usually am the one initiating everything. With him, I crave his approval and am constantly thinking of pleasing him (not only sexually, but in other areas – even though I’m not very good at it), and it just seems that submission is the best course.

When I think about it, I desire to submit to him more than I desire to dominate him. I just wish I could feel less in control with him, during sexual things mostly. I wish that I had defined limitation for him to break, though currently I’ve got such an, “I’m open to anything” attitude, that it makes it very hard for him.

I think after the better majority of our life is under more control (mostly finances), I’m gonna seriously start pushing for us to create some sort of defined relationship type dealy. We’ve both shown great interest in the idea of punishments and rewards, and I think it would be a great motivator for me to accomplish some of the goals that I’ve put out for myself this year.

I’ve told him that I think it would be cool if we had set rules, like for instance, at a certain time everyday I have to do a workout (and since he’s always said he wants to be my personal trainer, he can choose the exercises), and if I don’t, I get punished with something that I wouldn’t like. Preferably something humiliating. Or that all the dishes have to be done and put away, or I’ll be forced to do something like, the dishes naked or clean the toilet with a toothbrush or stand in the corner or something.

I think I’m just mostly determined to take the only-for-foreplay thing out of the parts of our sex life that excite me the most. It’s something I really want to try 24/7, not 15 minutes once a week!

Last night, The Boyfriend and I pulled out the flogger for the second time. And, if you can believe it, this time was even better than the first time. After spending two days straight writing The Brighton Tales on The Erotica of a Tortured Mind, my mind was whirring with thoughts of sex and BDSM. So you can imagine my excitement when The Boyfriend decided to call in sick, just in case we got called up to the hospital to see my brother.

So after hours had passed, and I finally got off the computer, The Boyfriend grabbed the flogger from downstairs. I’ve been incredibly sore these last couple of days and have been having alot of problems with knees. I’ve been taking these anti-inflammatories that are supposed to help, but I don’t think they are. I almost think they’re making it worse.

It started with a playful ass rub (which I love getting. Apparently, I hold a large amount of stress in my ass muscles ;)) Then he started playing with the flogger. Time passed as he played with the flogger, gently tapping my ass with it, and I rolled onto my stomach.

The flogger started out as a foreplay to sex, and within minutes of gentle flogging, The Boyfriend was inside me. I left my hair down (which I almost never do), and it kept getting in my face. The Boyfriend kept trying to gather it, because he likes to pull on it.

After he came, I stayed laying on my stomach on the couch, and masturbated while he flogged me. He started off soft, and then slowly got harder and harder, until my skin was flaming beneath the flogging. I’d lift my foot, and he’d stop to rub my darkening ass, bending over and kissing it gently.

He was nailing a very nice figure eight, and the sensation was crazy, the sound of the whip whirring through the air. I was shaking so bad, and more than once came right to the brink of orgasm. Then he’d stop flogging and just gently brush the falls over my skin, the latex tickling my inner thighs. After a long time on my ass, to the point where it started turning purple, I asked him to move to my legs and try my thighs and calves.

It was obvious that he wasn’t as comfortable with the legs as he was with my ass, as he very gently hit my legs. He moved back to my ass and began doing a figure eight again, this time much harder and much faster. The harder and faster he went, the harder and faster I played with myself. Until finally, after probably close to half an hour of flogging, my muscles all contracted, my back arched and I experienced an incredible orgasm.

It seemed to last forever, and by the end of it, every limb of my body felt like al dente noodles. I laid limply for at least five minutes, trying my hardest to catch my breath. After looking at my ass, we were sure that today I would have a hard time sitting down and that I would have at least one bruise to show for it.

Today, after pulling an all-nighter after the flogging last night, there are no visible signs that a flogging ever happened. There’s no problems sitting down, then the problems that I already have sitting down thanks to my knees, back and hip.

I think The Boyfriend is much kinkier than he’s willing to admit. As he wielded that flogger with a great deal of skill, every single time, he’d get hard. This flogger was the best thing I ever bought!

Since the start of my interests in BDSM, I’ve always questioned whether or not I would actually enjoy the activities that are included, or if I just liked the concept of them. Did I just like the idea of being flogged, or would I truly enjoy being flogged or flogging someone else? Is it just the idea of being tied up that’s a turn on, or would I really be turned on from it?

Well, last night, after receiving my flogger and bondage tape that I had ordered online in the mail, I got to experience my first flogging ever. The Boyfriend even let me hit him a couple times 😉

So, we bought the Angel Hair Flogger – 14″. Prior to using it, and just testing it out on my leg, I was sure The Boyfriend wouldn’t be able to hit hard enough. Thankfully, I was wrong and he was able to get the latex falls to snap and sting. The sound of the flogger was the best part. As he swung through the air, a sharp swooshing noise. Even better was the sound of the hit. It was loud enogh to be hot for us, but not so loud as to wake up the kids!

I was almost surprised at how much The Boyfriend seemed to be into it. At first, he was more playful than serious about it. Starting upstairs, he would just playfully swing it, barely skimming my ass. Once we got downstairs though, it was almost as if he transformed into the loving, in control Top. It was almost like he had done it before, and had spent hours researching it on the computer.

He seemed to pick up on every cue, and corrected any mistakes almost as soon as they happened. He started off slow and gradually picked up pace. He would rain down a succession of blows and then it seemed like he knew the second it started to “hurt” for me, where I would feel the need to pull away. But even before I pulled away, he’d stop and rub the area of impact.

He’d practice whichever swing he went for first in the air, and the sound alone made me incredibly wet. Then he’d bring the falls down upon me, the first couple of times, very lightly, just tickling my skin. By the end, he was hitting hard enough that I was experiencing the same painful pleasure brought on by spanking.

It is still an incredibly gentle flogger, and I’m very curious to experiment more with it and find out if it’s possible to break skin with it. We didn’t get a chance to use the bondage tape, because we were too into the flogger. So that will probably have to wait until his next days off.

The sex afterwards was amazing, though that’s not really new for our sex life. Pretty much every time we have sex, it’s amazing. He was trying really hard to be gentle, because he’s worried that rough sex is the reason I’ve been bleeding so long after having Carter (only had maybe 5 days in 4 months where I wasn’t bleeding!).

For the second time in a row (and it hasn’t ever really happened alot, so it’s super exciting for us both), I got off at his hand. This time was especially hot, because as I came, he came. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t really know the answer, but cumming at the same time always feels much more intimate and passionate and special.

We spent a couple minutes, wrapped in each others arms, coming down from a blissful experience, recounting all our favourite things about the night. Then came the planning of future sexpeditions, where he’s asked to be taped and has told me to expect my own. I wonder how well the bondage tape will really work?

I still feel like all of this kinky stuff that we’re doing, is still just kinky stuff. It feels like a precursor to sex and nothing more. While we were upstairs and he was playfully hitting, I kept asking myself, “Am I okay with this? Am I okay with it just being a type of foreplay? This isn’t how I pictured this, am I really okay with it?”, and I decided that I would rather have some kinky foreplay that involves elements of BDSM that I desire, than have no interactions with kink or BDSM. It’s one of those situations where you take what you can get when you can get it,  and for the moment, I am satisfied with that 😉

I was pretty happy a couple days back, when The XXX Rated Rantings hit a page view of 69, obviously my favourite oral position! And I’m happy to report that WTMFI Wednesdays is gaining popularity and we’ve had over 20 readers for the past two weeks! So now, I’m begging you to all help me get to another milestone, and start participating in WTMFI Wednesdays.

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