Posts Tagged ‘Pain’

I’m feeling very turned on right now, not 100% sure why. I was sitting on the couch, watching Gilmore Girls (kind of going through a phase…), and suddenly I was turned on. I hate that The Boyfriend works night, because it would be nice to have him around for those moments, especially since it’s most likely to happen around about that time… The silence, you know 😉

Last night, The Boyfriend and I had an absolutely delightful night. He had had four nights off, and the first three nights we were both much too tired to do just about anything. Sleep was our main priority. Finally, the fourth night, we didn’t sleep. Well, eventually we did, but not originally 😉

When we started, I didn’t expect that it would carry on long at all. That we’d both probably get distracted and it would just be another make out session. I crawled on top of him on the couch and one thing led to another, and next thing I know, he’s grabbing my hips and literally making me ride him. I was bouncing up and down, and we were both erotically laughing as my head and hair bobbed all over the place. It was fun sex.

Then, we switched to me face down and him on top from behind, vaginally of course (my choice, not his)! He doesn’t know this completely, but I normally go to this position when I’m ready for him to cum, because I know it happens quickly. Whereas when I’m on top, sometimes it can take a really long time. And while I appreciate the hour(s) long sex, I am a Mom of four and when 3 AM rolls around, I start getting pretty worried about how little sleep I’m going to get…

He came fast, as I knew he would, and I hadn’t yet. I had had the flogger earlier in the night (with the intention of flogging him, though the making out started and the flogger kind of got dropped, literally), so while I played with myself, my ass got a nice little flogging. After what seemed like too long of playing and not cumming, I asked The Boyfriend to grab me the purple pussy vibrator.

The piece of crap (I really gotta replace that thing…) finally got used, after months of isolation beneath the night table in my room. It even got a fresh new battery in it. Man oh man, did it ever feel nice grinding against the vibrator as The Boyfriend rhythmically beat my ass with the flogger.

After he was done, he was saying my ass was really red and he could see some welting on the roundest part of my butt. I fell asleep before I looked in the mirror, and of course, the next morning, absolutely nothing. I so badly want a beating that leaves a mark. That hurts the next day when I sit down. That hurts more when it’s happening. We’ve agreed that we’re picking up something less vanilla the next time we get something.

We went out shopping the other day and hit one of our local bookstores. I came across “The Guide to Getting It On”, and was so happy to finally have an educational sex book, and not just erotica. I’ve always, for as long as I can remember, wanted a library filled with nothing but sex, medical and psychology books. Same with, I want a room with a display of decorative glass dildos. I know, what a shame not to use them, but I figure I’ll just buy everyone in a set of two! If only…

I haven’t really read anything but the BDSM section, of course 😉 I was wondering about something after reading it. The book describes a fetish as a reliance on a certain something to achieve arousal. And I know that’s like the medical definition of a fetish, but in the kinky world, is a fetish really like that? I say that I have a foot fetish, because I love love love feet. I think feet are erotic and sexy and upon looking at an extremely beautiful pair of feet, I feel passionate. But I don’t rely on feet (other than the fact that certain positions require them) to achieve arousal. Does that mean that it’s not a fetish then? And if it’s not a fetish, what is it?

I’ve always kind of considered a fetish to be something that you find erotic that “normal” society wouldn’t, like a foot or a food or a material. And I’ve always considered a paraphillia to be the reliance part. And I know that they’re basically one in the same, but I feel like one should sound like less of an abnormality than the other. That way those of us who can still get turned on without the object, aren’t put on the same list of those who can’t and those who “normal” society (and sometimes the person themselves) think need help. I know it sounds like I’m trying to put a label on something that has no need for a label in the first place, but I feel like if there were a separation between the two, fetishes would be more accepted. Assuming anyone agrees with the fetish/paraphillia separation.

I think The Boyfriend and I can officially start looking into going to munches again. The kids are all old enough now that they can safely be left with family, and formula has been bought, plus The Boyfriend is going down to part-time 😉

I’ve been craving some sort of interaction to this world that I keep getting pulled deeper and deeper into. My interests in it just keep expanding the more I experience. The thing that almost scares me, is how much more I want. Like with the floggings. After every flogging, I’m telling The Boyfriend to do it harder next time. Then he does, and I tell him to do it harder. Is it always going to be like this? Never gets hard enough…

It’s like safewords. I’ve never been even slightly close to using a safeword with The Boyfriend. I’ve never even said things like stop or don’t or no more. It’s always been a very manageable pain.

I hope one day I feel completely sexually fulfilled. I hope, before I die, I feel like I know who I am sexually, for sure. No questions about it. Does anyone out there feel completely satisfied with their sexuality?

Since the start of my interests in BDSM, I’ve always questioned whether or not I would actually enjoy the activities that are included, or if I just liked the concept of them. Did I just like the idea of being flogged, or would I truly enjoy being flogged or flogging someone else? Is it just the idea of being tied up that’s a turn on, or would I really be turned on from it?

Well, last night, after receiving my flogger and bondage tape that I had ordered online in the mail, I got to experience my first flogging ever. The Boyfriend even let me hit him a couple times 😉

So, we bought the Angel Hair Flogger – 14″. Prior to using it, and just testing it out on my leg, I was sure The Boyfriend wouldn’t be able to hit hard enough. Thankfully, I was wrong and he was able to get the latex falls to snap and sting. The sound of the flogger was the best part. As he swung through the air, a sharp swooshing noise. Even better was the sound of the hit. It was loud enogh to be hot for us, but not so loud as to wake up the kids!

I was almost surprised at how much The Boyfriend seemed to be into it. At first, he was more playful than serious about it. Starting upstairs, he would just playfully swing it, barely skimming my ass. Once we got downstairs though, it was almost as if he transformed into the loving, in control Top. It was almost like he had done it before, and had spent hours researching it on the computer.

He seemed to pick up on every cue, and corrected any mistakes almost as soon as they happened. He started off slow and gradually picked up pace. He would rain down a succession of blows and then it seemed like he knew the second it started to “hurt” for me, where I would feel the need to pull away. But even before I pulled away, he’d stop and rub the area of impact.

He’d practice whichever swing he went for first in the air, and the sound alone made me incredibly wet. Then he’d bring the falls down upon me, the first couple of times, very lightly, just tickling my skin. By the end, he was hitting hard enough that I was experiencing the same painful pleasure brought on by spanking.

It is still an incredibly gentle flogger, and I’m very curious to experiment more with it and find out if it’s possible to break skin with it. We didn’t get a chance to use the bondage tape, because we were too into the flogger. So that will probably have to wait until his next days off.

The sex afterwards was amazing, though that’s not really new for our sex life. Pretty much every time we have sex, it’s amazing. He was trying really hard to be gentle, because he’s worried that rough sex is the reason I’ve been bleeding so long after having Carter (only had maybe 5 days in 4 months where I wasn’t bleeding!).

For the second time in a row (and it hasn’t ever really happened alot, so it’s super exciting for us both), I got off at his hand. This time was especially hot, because as I came, he came. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t really know the answer, but cumming at the same time always feels much more intimate and passionate and special.

We spent a couple minutes, wrapped in each others arms, coming down from a blissful experience, recounting all our favourite things about the night. Then came the planning of future sexpeditions, where he’s asked to be taped and has told me to expect my own. I wonder how well the bondage tape will really work?

I still feel like all of this kinky stuff that we’re doing, is still just kinky stuff. It feels like a precursor to sex and nothing more. While we were upstairs and he was playfully hitting, I kept asking myself, “Am I okay with this? Am I okay with it just being a type of foreplay? This isn’t how I pictured this, am I really okay with it?”, and I decided that I would rather have some kinky foreplay that involves elements of BDSM that I desire, than have no interactions with kink or BDSM. It’s one of those situations where you take what you can get when you can get it,  and for the moment, I am satisfied with that 😉

I was pretty happy a couple days back, when The XXX Rated Rantings hit a page view of 69, obviously my favourite oral position! And I’m happy to report that WTMFI Wednesdays is gaining popularity and we’ve had over 20 readers for the past two weeks! So now, I’m begging you to all help me get to another milestone, and start participating in WTMFI Wednesdays.

Leave your comments here, post your links to your sites in the comment section, answer or leave links on the message forum, send your answer to Valerie Rayne. All of the ways to participate are here. Plus you can leave your comments for any of the posts, they are more than welcome!

Woo! Today was a good day, in the blogging sense. I officially hit the 20 visitor mark!!! It only took me three weeks, and almost no promotion whatsoever, to reach my first XXX Rated Rantings milestone. Thanks to all who are reading.

So I found out an interesting tidbit today. The Boyfriend has been secretly reading Sadopaeidia by Anonymous – my current favourite erotic novel. His favourite part is my favourite part too. I’ve been reading his Forgotten Realms by R.A. Salvatore books for months now, and I’ve expressed extreme interest in him reading one of my erotic books for a year and a half. So I was pretty excited when he said he’s been reading at least one of them. I knew leaving them in the bathroom would eventually work 😉

The Boyfriend has been nothing but a tease these last two days. It’s his days off, normally days we have sex. Yesterday, there was alot of talk about how that night was going to be a sex night, and then sadly, he fell asleep while I was breastfeeding. Today has been the worst, and it’s made worse by the fact that I know that it’s just teasing.

First, he’s sitting on the couch with my hairbrush and he starts slapping it against his leg covered in denim jeans. The sound was truly exhilarating, this sharp thuddy sound. I made him stop that one really quickly. Then, he bought himself a belt with these little studs on it. He’s walking around the house with his shirt off, and the belt was glimmering and I said that it could potentially be fun. Then he goes and tells me he’s been reading my erotica. How much do you want to bet that he’ll fall asleep before I’m done breastfeeding again?

You know, it wouldn’t bother me at all, if he said to me that he was denying sex for some reason, or if he said that I was being punished. But not having sex, just because we’re not, is killing me. The only times in my life that I go this long without sex is when I’m single or when I’m pregnant. And I’m neither of those things!

Life has been pretty stressful these last couple of weeks, and my desire for an emotional release through pleasurable pain is through the roof. After almost two years of not, I broke down the other day at the height of my stress – every trigger was being pressed – and gave myself two little cuts. I had forgotten what it was like…

So someone awhile back, found my blog by searching “audio to masturbate to” – probably found it since it was the same week as WTMFI Wednesdays: Week 2 – Masturbation. And it got me thinking about good music to masturbate to. Being that I often masturbate in the bathtub (when I do masturbate, which isn’t very often), I don’t normally listen to music. Though I totally would!

I would imagine that music that you have sex to is good for listening to when you masturbate. It also really depends on what you’re into musically in the first place. Someone whose into heavy metal wouldn’t necessarily be turned on by Mozart’s “Moonlight Sonota” (which Steve-O and Sandy have sex to while on acid in SLC Punk, one of my all time favourite movies!!), whereas someone who is into more of a dark rock type sound, might be turned on by Nine Inch Nails’ “Discipline”. Some people would enjoy Britney Spears’ “I’ve got that Boom Boom” or maybe Justin Timberlake ft. Ciara with “Love, Sex, Magic”. It really depends on your taste in music, your mood for that moment, and the type of atmosphere you’re trying to create for yourself.

Another thing to consider is your visualization skills. If you’re good at visualizing things on your own, without porn or erotica, then pretty much any music would work. If, on the other hand, you have a hard time visualizing things and need porn or erotica, then you’re music should attempt to match the type of stimulation you’re using. For instance, if you’re watching alot of anal stuff, or reading about it or looking at it or whatever you’re doing with the ass area in general, I would definitely say these are 10 songs that should be on your masturbation playlist:

(NOTE: The average man only lasts 2 – 6 minutes, so only 2 or 3 of these songs would be needed for a session)

  • Bubba Sparx – Ms. New Booty
  • Ludacris ft. Shawna – How Low Can You Go
  • Destiny’s Child – Bootylicious
  • Queen – Fat Bottomed Girls
  • Kelis – Milkshake
  • Mindless Self Indulgence – Ultrasex (Not necessarily just for anal;))
  • Mystikal – Shake Your Ass
  • Sean Paul – Shake That Thing
  • Ying Yang Twins – Ass Cheeks on my White Tee
  • Chamillionaire – Grown and Sexy

Man, I need to get my ID so that I can go out dancing again. I miss the days of skanky dancing. I don’t really get the chance to be much of a sexual deviant at all in my house. My 5-year-old would pick up on it too much. When I showed an interest in belly dancing, guess who learnt how to do figure eights before me!! So imagine what would it be like if I was dropping it like it was hot on a regular basis around her.

I don’t even know if I’d still know how to move it like I used to. I haven’t been dancing in almost three years!!! I can’t believe it’s been that long… I used to just go dancing when I was pregnant all the time. I was the only pregnant girl out on the dancefloor! Hopefully by the end of the year, I’ll be able to go dancing, because I miss it so much!!

I’ve been teasing The Boyfriend with a dirty dance for months now. I just want to wait until I tone up more. I wouldn’t, under almost any circumstance, put me in the fat category. I’m still in single digits in dress and pant size, and I’m in the perfect weight range for my height and age. But I have had four kids, and my body is absolutely not what it used to be – especially not what it was back in the days of skanky dancing. Maybe one day 😉

I’ve read alot on FetLife about leash dances, and I think that would be so erotic. If one day, The Boyfriend put a collar around my neck with a leash attached, and hung the leash up using a hook of some sort and instructed me to dance for him, I think I probably would. And I would probably play Chamillionaire’s “Grown and Sexy” or Kelis’ “Milkshake”.

Well here’s hopping that soon the XXX Rated Rantings starts getting some comments and I’ll be looking forward to the 30 visitor mark!!! What’s some music that you enjoy listening to when you’re masturbating or having sex?