Posts Tagged ‘Pornography’

I hate that I have such a problem with The Boyfriend being sexual without me. From porn to masturbating, I have such a problem with him watching or doing either of those things, without me. It shouldn’t bug me.

I’m the most accepting person I know of the fact that we are all sexual beings with sexual needs and desires. I understand watching porn or masturbating. And yet, just the idea of The Boyfriend masturbating while I’m not there, makes me automatically angry.

For some reason, I’ve been having trust issues with The Boyfriend. He hasn’t done anything at all to deserve it. If anyone has any rights to trust issues, it’s him, not me. And yet I’m almost always saying to him, “I don’t trust you”, especially in all sorts of sexual areas. From did he watch porn (which he hasn’t, and if he has he’s done a spectacular job of hiding it), to is he enjoying having sex with me.

I think it’s partially this immature thought that just because I don’t watch porn or masturbate unless he’s there, that he should just do the same. And that’s unfair for me to ask for. Especially being that guys normally watch porn and masturbate for different reasons than girls do – or at least that’s my theory. I just wish I could figure out the cause of the anger so that I could work towards getting over it.

Today he asks how late Alfie stayed over last night. I don’t ever lie to him about when Alfie was here, because I need to earn back the trust that I lost, and honesty is the number one step to that. I know it bothers him more than anything when Alfie comes over, and I often rationalize with him that Alfie is my only “friend”, my one connection to the outside world that doesn’t consist solely of kids. So he goes and says that every time I let Alfie come over after he leaves for work, he should get to do something that makes me upset. And since the only thing that I’ve ever stated makes me upset is watching porn, he’s basically saying every time Alfie comes over, he’s gonna watch porn.

I said to him, “I hate that you put Alfie and porn in the same category”, because they’re not. Porn is not the father of three of his children, and porn is not the one person he’s considered to be his best friend in the entire world for the last six, almost seven years. Plus, porn doesn’t just show up on his doorstep! Porn doesn’t call him every night and make him feel guilty when he says no to it. Alfie does all that and more. Saying yes to him coming over at night is a thousand times better for everyone, than saying no. Because than we don’t have to deal with immature, dramatic bullshit that Alfie would pull!

I think if he started watching porn as a type of punishment for me hanging out with my only friend (though, if Alfie and I didn’t have kids and such a history, we probably wouldn’t be friends), it would only make things worse. It would halfway drive me to Alfie, because I’d need someone to vent my frustrations to. It’s such a complicated situation, and I need to determine a way to make it less complicated…

WTMFI Wednesdays Button

“R U LOL?”

CherriesThis Week’s Questions

  1. Have you ever used your cellphone to send racy pictures or messages?
  2. Do you use a webcam for sexual purposes?
  3. How often do you have cyber sex?
  4. Do you use the internet to look at porn?
  5. Do you think X-rated content is too easy to access or too difficult?

BONUS QUESTION:
What’s your stance on long-distance online relationships?

RULES

  • Each week, for Wednesday, you post answers to the five questions that are posted. You may answer all, or only one or two of the questions. You can post in whichever format works for you, be it video, poetry, answers, pictures or audio.
  • Insert the WTMFI Wednesdays image at the top of this post (get instructions here) into your post, linking back to The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – XXX Rated Edition at https://rantingsofatorturedmindxxx.wordpress.com
  • Leave a link to your post with the answered questions in the comments section of Wednesday’s WTMFI post. There is a special page for all the links that are submitted, so be sure to submit your links.
  • Have Fun!!!!
  • …Click the Read More button to see Valerie Rayne’s answers …

    (more…)

    WTMFI Wednesdays Button

    “You Did What?!? Where?!?”

    CherriesThis Week’s Questions

    1. Have you ever masturbated while someone watched?
    2. Have you ever masturbated in public while no one else was around? What about while someone was?
    3. Have you ever masturbated at school?
    4. Have you ever been caught by your parents masturbating to porn?
    5. Have you ever masturbated for longer than 15 minutes and still didn’t cum? Why do you think that was?

    BONUS QUESTION:
    Have you ever masturbated and felt absolutely ashamed?

    RULES

  • Each week, for Wednesday, you post answers to the five questions that are posted. You may answer all, or only one or two of the questions. You can post in whichever format works for you, be it video, poetry, answers, pictures or audio.
  • Insert the WTMFI Wednesdays image at the top of this post (get instructions here) into your post, linking back to The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – XXX Rated Edition at https://rantingsofatorturedmindxxx.wordpress.com
  • Leave a link to your post with the answered questions in the comments section of Wednesday’s WTMFI post. There is a special page for all the links that are submitted, so be sure to submit your links.
  • Have Fun!!!!
  • … Click the Read More button to see Valerie Rayne’s answers …

    (more…)

    WTMFI Wednesdays Button

    “Would You Rather…”

    CherriesThis Week’s Questions

    1. Would you rather have sex with an incredibly sexy asshole or an average looking sweetheart?
    2. Would you rather watch porn or be in porn?
    3. Would you rather have sex in the kitchen or in the bathroom?
    4. Would you rather have kinky sex or vanilla sex?
    5. Would you rather be on top or bottom?

    BONUS QUESTION:
    Would you rather be extremely intelligent or eternally beautiful?

    RULES

  • Each week, for Wednesday, you post answers to the five questions that are posted. You may answer all, or only one or two of the questions. You can post in whichever format works for you, be it video, poetry, answers, pictures or audio.
  • Insert the WTMFI Wednesdays image at the top of this post (get instructions here) into your post, linking back to The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – XXX Rated Edition at https://rantingsofatorturedmindxxx.wordpress.com
  • Leave a link to your post with the answered questions in the comments section of Wednesday’s WTMFI post. There is a special page for all the links that are submitted, so be sure to submit your links.
  • Have Fun!!!!
  • … Click the Read More button to see Valerie Rayne’s answers …

    (more…)

    WTMFI Wednesdays Button

    “Don’t Ever Take Away From Me

    My Pornography”

    CherriesThis Week’s Questions

    1. How often do you watch porn? How long does a porn watching session last?
    2. What format do you usually use? Examples: Magazine, DVD’s, Websites…
    3. Do you masturbate every time you watch porn?
    4. Do you prefer to watch porn alone, with you sexual partner, or with a group of people?
    5. What is your favourite thing about porn? Least favourite?

    BONUS QUESTION:
    What do you typically watch where porn is concerned? Have you tried anything that you saw in porn?

    RULES

  • Each week, for Wednesday, you post answers to the five questions that are posted. You may answer all, or only one or two of the questions. You can post in whichever format works for you, be it video, poetry, answers, pictures or audio.
  • Insert the WTMFI Wednesdays image at the top of this post (get instructions here) into your post, linking back to The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – XXX Rated Edition at https://rantingsofatorturedmindxxx.wordpress.com
  • Leave a link to your post with the answered questions in the comments section of Wednesday’s WTMFI post. There is a special page for all the links that are submitted, so be sure to submit your links.
  • Have Fun!!!!
  • … Click the Read More button to see Valerie Rayne’s answers …

    (more…)