Posts Tagged ‘Sister’

Tons to write about tonight… From unsanitary stripper hot tubs to the most exciting part of my day, hopefully I’ll be able to keep it together 😉

So first big bit of news, guess what I got today?!?!?!? I’ve been saying I wanted one for years, and guess what folks? I finally got it. That’s right Ladies and Gentlemen, I am officially the proud owner of a laptop. Here I sit, writing this post to you from my brand new HP Mini 10″. Since I’ve never used a laptop before, and am extremely used to the traditional desktop, I am having quite a few issues, from too large of font size to pushing buttons that I shouldn’t be pushing 😉

It took me so long to pick it out, and I kept arguing with myself, “Val, you don’t NEED this.” “Yes, but I’ve wanted it for so long!!!” But then I picked it up and I was like, “Yup, I’m taking this home with me!” I wouldn’t have at all if it wasn’t for The Boyfriend cheering me on, and even helping me with the all important pro/con list. This one was easier to type on than the other one.

So, of course I came home and immediately booted up my brand new laptop. We had gotten The Boyfriend “Red Dead Redemption”, so he was occupied.  I got talking to my Sister, and eventually it lead to a new bit of information that Alfie has leaked to me. Apparently, my favorite (and what I used to think was classier) strip club, has now included a hot tub into the list of features they have. I don’t know for sure all what they have, but when I used to go they had two poles, a swing and a shower. Now they supposedly have a bubbly bath.

When Alfie first told me about it, I went into this entire rant about what kind of sanitation guidelines they had to follow and how that one tub was going to be the ruin of the adult industry, because of one strippers unsanitary and contagious sexually transmitted infection/disease.

Then all of a sudden my Sister starts sending me all these little porn clips in MSN. Well, since the whole hatred of The Boyfriend watching porn thing, I haven’t had any desire to have porn anywhere near me. I don’t want to think about other people have sex, and I definitely don’t want to see it. So I hastily ended my conversation with her, and decided to jump on over to’s chatrooms and chat with some of the locals.

I’ve recently discovered that I live very close to some of the people in my community. So much so, that when I saw a firecracker go off in front of my house, they heard it from theirs.  Conversations were going really really great with everyone until one person decided it was time to cyber and another decided it was time to encourage me to either cheat on or leave The Boyfriend.

And I just feel like neither of those are even close to an option. I can’t imagine breaking up what I have now, what I consider to be my current family, all to satisfy my sexual urges!!! I know that eventually in my life, I need to discover who I am sexually. And if that means that I have to travel on without him, so be it. But I don’t want it to be right now. I feel like I haven’t even gotten the chance to get to know him!!!

I just think I’m incredibly confused. On the one hand, I so desperately want BDSM to become more a part of my life. On the one hand, I so desperately want to be the sexual person I long to be. But on the other hand, well the other hand really has no idea what it wants at all. But the other hand would like a chance to see if this could work out in its favor, before just flipping out and going off with someone else.

I don’t even know if I’d be okay with it if The Boyfriend was like, “It’s alright Val, you go off and discover yourself. I’ll be waiting for you with open arms when you get back.” I just don’t know what I want….

It’d be so different if I didn’t have to constantly think about all these kids. And that was another thing. Someone said because I didn’t take the time to fully discover myself and jumped into the baby thing that it showed a lack of maturity. And I don’t think I agree with that at all.

No offense to almost everyone I know, but I’m more mature than almost anyone I know. I mean, I am a mother of four whose been taking care of my responsibilities with very little help, for the last three years. I’d say that takes a pretty heightened level of maturity. I’m the one who pays the bills and puts food on the table and clothes on their backs. I’m the one whose kept this particular roof over our head for almost three years now!!! I’d say that’s pretty freaking mature of me…

And I’m seriously still waiting for one person to tell me that they have reached the point of absolute sexual satisfaction! I’m only 23, I have at least say 23 more years of experience to gain ahead of me. I don’t think I’m in that dreadful of a situation. Unless 23 is somehow now old, in which case, fuck me!!

Kept going off on statistically. Apparently, statistically, those of us under the age of 25 in a long-term relationship have an 80% fail rate. Believable? Very much so. Apparently, in 5 years it’s unlikely that The Boyfriend and I will even be together. So does that somehow mean that I’m now supposed to forget about his feelings, his existence and just go off and find myself sexually, or do I wait the five years until we’re broken up and then find myself sexually. I mean, I am only 23!!!

It started off as a really good chat night, and then it just turned bad. I don’t go into chatrooms to cyber or be told to break up with my boyfriend. I go into them to chat about what we’re all striving towards. I go into them to find someone else who thinks about what I think about. And I don’t think about cybering!!!!

Well, that’s officially my rant for the night. Things are starting to get blurry as I finish my fourth Smirnoff Ice (One ahead of The Boyfriend ;)) Hopefully I’ll be writing tomorrow about my amazing drunken sexperience tonight 😉

So yesterday was an odd type day. In the morning, The Boyfriend was kinda mad at me, for a variety of reasons, most of which he had complete rights to. He had posted a status to Facebook, which he only ever does when he wants me to know something’s up.

After spending almost the entire day in complete silence, not touching each other, I decided I was going to soak in a nice hot bath. Again, I’m reading Sadopaeidia (which I seem to go through every couple of baths), and The Boyfriend comes down to share a smoke. Guess who was naked?

Well, of course, I was! And so was he, except his socks – weirdo! After some gentle water rubbing (rather non-sexually), I pulled him into the bath with me (yes, he took off his socks…). And again, we successfully had bath tub sex in my tinsy tiny tub.

Bath tub sex is seriously fun. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, but in a way that you’re not afraid to laugh at it. The water feels nice swishing around you. And The Boyfriend kind of lifts me up with ease and it’s just a different kind of sex completely.

After the bath, things went from Woohoo to Ugh… I was all like, “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. Especially with you being mad at me.” This sparked an entire conversation, that turned to a debate because I bitched about him posting a status on Facebook for everyone who doesn’t even know me, and his sister who does, to find out that he has a problem with our relationship before I do.

Of course, that got thrown back in my face real quick, being that on occasion, I’ve posted stuff on my blog about our relationship that I didn’t tell him previously. He was even able to name the exact post that his sister confronted him and asked what kind of problems we were having that I would write it.

So I’ve officially discovered why I don’t argue with The Boyfriend. And that’s because, he argues exactly like I do. He’s able to back up his argument, and doesn’t just talk out of his ass. And like I said earlier, he has every right to be upset, and I would think he was seriously psychotic if he wasn’t upset.

I keep having Alfie over after The Boyfriend goes to work, even though we agreed a long time ago that Alfie wouldn’t come over after The Boyfriend left. I don’t know why I keep doing it, especially being that I know it upsets The Boyfriend alot and I don’t want to cause him upset. I’m hoping eventually I can get it together and stop doing things that bother him, especially when I know that they bother him. First I think, I need to figure out why it is that I continue to do these things even when I know better.

So the good thing is, I got laid and we both got stuff off our chests!